Conversations With Mama.

by Ohioleh

‘Ma, I’m coming Ma.’
‘Yes Ma’
‘Your mama tell me say you don dey perch woman like housefly.’
‘Wetin make you do face like shit? Na my pocket your mama see condom?’
‘No, Ma. It had nothing to—’
‘No make me press all your face wit slap. No jus make me vex. What the hell are you doing wit condom? Pastor pikin?’
‘Mama, you have to trust me. I was at a small party in school, somebody put it there. Would I ever lie to you?’
‘Osanobua, Ohi, so you fit look me, tell me dirty lies?’
‘Mama, I swear it’s the truth’
‘Ah. Egbeme. Boy, so you no know say if you perch woman like dis na belle? You never finish school but you wan be daddy? That’s what you wanna be? Daddy? You and your pikin, age mates?’
‘No Ma. You know that I’d never disrespect you like that Mama. But no be me put am. Gospel truth.’
‘Well, na you get your stick. If you like perch or not. Hmm. But wetin carry your mama enter your pocket sef?’
‘In fact Mama, I no just know.’